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A Slut's Tail

My life's journey in coming to terms with my sexuality

One of those mornings
Posted:Oct 30, 2018 4:50 am
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2019 7:31 am

It's one of those mornings where I want to spend time with a guy, touch him and have him touch me, suck his cock and, if he wants, ask him to fuck me. It just is.
Center of Attention
Posted:Sep 29, 2018 3:58 am
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2019 1:50 pm

It’s a beautiful thing. Gotta be in the right mood with the right guys but when it all cums together it truly is a beautiful thing.
Horny as fuck
Posted:Sep 4, 2018 9:36 am
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2018 11:07 am

It's one of those days where I just want an assertive top's hands all over me, his cock in my mouth and then in my ass. Know what I mean?
My Friend With the Truck
Posted:May 7, 2018 11:37 am
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2018 1:59 am

One of my proclivities is that I find guys with pickup trucks to be a real turn on. I love giving road head.

I was at an afternoon get together with a bunch of guys a couple of months before I moved down here. Beer, football, wings – good stuff. Wasn’t expecting anything but some football and a guys’ afternoon. When I got there I knew pretty much everyone. And then a few minutes after I got there this one guy showed up who looked vaguely familiar but who I couldn’t quite place him. The game was fun to watch except that it was rather one-sided. On top of that, it was clear we’d be running out of beer before long.

At half-time I volunteered to make a beer run and headed out the door only to find that my car was boxed in by a pickup truck. When I went back in the house and asked who owned the pickup it was the guy I couldn’t quite place. I told him he had me boxed in and he volunteered to drive.

When we got in his truck he said you don’t remember me do you? And I said that he looked familiar but I couldn’t quite place him. I then said: “By the way, nice truck. Love these bench seats.” He then said to me: “I was at Pete’s last month but you were pretty busy so you probably didn’t notice me.’’ That took me by surprise.

Pete periodically hosted The Group I blogged about earlier. I think I must have blushed a bit because he chuckled. I thought about Pete’s the last time and remembered that I was giving head to different guys before one of them fucked me. He said that he wasn’t able to stay at Pete’s that day because he got a call from work and had to leave. I said that I remembered the last time at Pete’s. To that point I wasn’t very sure about him but then he said: “Pete wanted me to meet you. He said you’re a really good cocksucker.” When he said that while he was driving that truck my mouth started to water.

We were on a road that I had driven on before and one that he knew as well. There is a lake near the road with a couple of places to park that are pretty much totally quiet in winter. I leaned across the seat, undid his jeans and pulled out his cock. He was cut, beginning to get hard and probably about 7” or so when he was ready. I took his cock in my mouth and licked the underside of the head with the tip of my tongue. I then took him all the way in and savored that beautiful cock. After a few moments he asked me to stop. We were about to pull onto the main road and, shortly thereafter, the food store where we’d get the beer. After getting the beer he asked me if I had time after the game as we were heading back. I said I had some time. We agreed to meet at the lake afterwards.

After the game I headed straight out to the lake and right after I pulled in so did he. I got out of my car, locked it and jumped in his truck. His cock was already out and hard. The truck was a new F150 with a bench front seat and super comfortable. I stretched across the seat and gave him head while I was playing with his balls and massaging his taint. He held his load pretty well – for a while (I can never tell how much time elapses while I’m sucking cock) and then I could feel and hear him getting close. I reached under and played with his asshole and then he came and gave me a nice load. I held it in my mouth, sat up, looked over at him and swallowed.

We agreed to do it again and we met twice more before I left the area. I love giving head in a truck – it is beyond hot.
Posted:Mar 7, 2018 3:40 am
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2018 3:26 am

Once a month I treat myself to a special massage. It took me awhile to find the right guy but the time I invested in finding him has produced amazing returns. He is professionally trained, fully licensed, highly skilled and hot. After helping me fully relax he slowly takes me where we both know I want to go – and he is amazing. He finds erogenous zones that I didn’t know I had and has me hard and oozing before I even know it. And when it’s time he makes me cum like a teenager. My masseur is truly beyond amazing.
Posted:Feb 20, 2018 1:11 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2018 4:16 am

Yesterday I was told that I'm really fun to play with. Always nice to hear and he was really a lot of fun himself. #ICameLikeATeenager
1 comment
Posted:Feb 12, 2018 3:21 am
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2018 3:49 am

Love going commando in jeans, particularly when I'm going to play. Love the feel of denim on my cock, balls and ass. And I love how it feels when I'm dropping my jeans and stepping out of them. Commando is a turn on.
Making New Friends
Posted:Aug 19, 2017 3:36 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2019 4:22 am

Last Fall I relocated to Virginia from New England and when I did, I regrettably left Pete and his friends behind. Since then I've been looking to make new friends and, perhaps, a new group.

Well, yesterday I was welcomed into a new circle of friends. Very nice guys who were very friendly and made me feel quite welcome. I very much look forward to spending some quality time with all of them.
Fantasizing About What Happened at 15
Posted:Aug 14, 2017 3:46 am
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2018 12:25 pm

Yes, I know he seduced me; yes, I know I was not yet of the age of consent; yes, by society’s generally accepted standards it was wrong, but. . . . .

I have occasionally fantasized about what being kept by him would have been like. Would he teach me? Show me new things? I’m certain he would have fucked me. Would he have helped me grow, sexually? Would he have shared me? What would have happened?

And, yes, I know he’d probably done that to other boys around my age. He certainly knew what he was doing: from the beer, to suggesting I remove my shirt, to the increasingly frequent touching my leg and everything that followed.

I’ve asked myself was it that I was looking for adult attention and he sensed that. Did I secretly want him to seduce me? Did he sense that?

Truth be told, at this point in my life, having traveled the road that I have, I have accepted that at the time that it happened, I loved what he did to me and what he had me do to him.
The Next Stop Along the Way Revisited – Cumming Clean
Posted:Jul 16, 2017 4:21 am
Last Updated:Sep 14, 2018 2:23 pm

In my first blog post How I think it all started for me I mentioned that I had been in therapy. I actually saw a therapist for several issues including what happened when I was 5. But for me what happened when I was 15 was the bigger issue of the two. My therapist helped me deal with that and better understand how I felt and why. Since I had difficulty telling her (my therapist was a woman) about it she had me make notes of my recollections and bring them with me to a session when I was ready. I would make 2 copies of my notes, give her one and I would refer to the other as the session unfolded. What follows is the result of those sessions. I will explain why I did not fully disclose in my original version of this blog post in the final paragraph below. And so, here is what really happened.

In my first blog post I described an experience that I had as a five year old that I believe either awakened in me what was part of me at birth or introduced me to something that evoked in me a certain curiosity that, years later, I would explore and embrace. What follows is what I consider to be the next stop along the journey that is the discovery of my sexual identity. Fully disclosing all of what really happened is not easy but I will attempt to do so now.

I was 15 and, like many of my friends, often hitch-hiked to a distant destination and for the return home. It was a very hot August day and I had been visiting a buddy of mine who had moved to a home that was 20 miles from the old neighborhood. Even though I was wearing a t-shirt and Bermuda shorts, I was really hot and sweating heavily as I was thumbing a ride home in the early evening. A big late model Chrysler pulled over and I jumped in the front seat. The driver, a man probably in his 50s asked me where I was headed. I told him and he said he was going right by there. He had the a/c on high and it felt really good even though my t-shirt was soaked with sweat.

From the outset he was friendly, easy going and talkative. We talked sports, how my summer was going and just general chit chat. He joked a bit and brushed my knee with his hand as he was joking. He seemed a nice guy and made me feel at ease. He noticed how sweaty I was and said that I must be thirsty and I said that I kinda was. He apologized that all he had was beer and offered me a can of Budweiser. Before that day I think I might have had maybe a half a can of beer so the idea of me having a whole one to myself was cool. He also handed me a towel and suggested that I take my shirt off to towel off. I did and the a/c felt really good against my bare skin and I told him so.

I took a couple of swigs and sat back against the corner of the passenger door and the back of the seat. Almost immediately I felt the effects of the beer, relaxed a bit and swung my left leg up so that my knee was resting sideways on the seat. He looked over at me, chuckled and asked me if it tasted good? I said that it really did. He patted the side of my knee and just kept talking to me. As he talked he seemed really interested in me. Asking me questions about myself and always responding to me in a very positive way. No adult had ever spoken to me that way before and it seemed he was really interested in me and it felt good. And I didn't mind when he rested his hand on my knee.

When I finished the beer he asked how I was and I said I was ok but in reality I was feeling the beer’s effects. What I did notice for the first time was that his right hand which had been resting on my knee was now just above my knee on my inner thigh. He glanced over and saw me looking at his hand but didn’t say anything or move his hand. It felt a little strange but I didn’t move my leg or push his hand away. I wasn’t really sure why I didn’t. I felt a little confused and was really feeling that beer, leaned my head back against the door and shut my eyes. I don’t think I actually dozed off even though I was a little drowsy. When I opened my eyes I was surprised to notice that I had a hard-on and it was showing. Then I noticed that his hand was higher up my inner thigh and he was lightly moving his index finger back and forth across my skin and it felt good. He looked over at me and said in a very soft and reassuring voice that it was alright and that he understood.

I remember feeling very conflicted at that point and didn’t really understand what was happening inside me. I was confused, not really uncomfortable but not completely at ease either but one thing I knew for certain was that I was turned on. And his hand felt good on my thigh and his voice was soft and warm and friendly and - - - nice. It was then that I noticed that it had gotten dark, it had started to rain and that the car had stopped moving. I looked outside and from what I could see we were in the parking lot behind what I guessed was a grocery store. I didn’t see any other cars. I felt a moment of panic but then he said that it was alright, that everything was ok, that I didn’t need to be afraid, that he would never hurt me or ask me to do anything I didn’t want to do. No one had ever said anything like that to me before, he was gentle and soft spoken and warm and he just sounded so - - - nice.

The beer made me feel good, his voice made me feel safe and his hand was soft and warm on my skin and felt really good high up on my inner thigh near my crotch. I felt myself breathing heavily and looked over at him. He looked into my eyes as his finger moved under the edge of my briefs and I felt a shiver. His finger moved a little and brushed the side of my balls and he spoke softly to me in his nice voice and I trembled. I closed my eyes and I felt his hand move back down my leg while his other hand unbuttoned my shorts. He pulled down my zipper and then pulled off my shorts – I lifted my ass so he could. I was sitting there in his car, in the dark in my briefs and he was talking to me softly and then I felt his hand on my cock. He didn’t move his hand or wrap his hand around it – he simply rested it there. And his hand was soft and warm and his voice was soft and warm and I was oozing precum and didn’t know what was going to happen next and didn’t care.

He moved closer to me on the seat and removed his hand from my cock and then I felt both his hands move inside the elastic in the waistband of my briefs. And he started pulling down my briefs and I wanted him to. And then I was completely naked in his car, in the dark with a man I had known less than an hour and there was no place on Earth that I would rather have been at that moment. And then his hands were on my inner thighs and his hands were soft and warm and his voice was soft and warm as his hands moved up my thighs. I felt a finger on each of his hands lightly brush my balls and I know I made a sound but I have no idea what it was. And his left hand cupped my balls while his right hand reached under to that place behind my balls and he softly rubbed it and oh my fuckin God I’d never felt anything like that in my life. And I squirmed and writhed and his voice was soft and warm and his hands were making me feel amazing. And I spread my legs wide and moved my hips up and down and he rubbed me and fondled me and I was in a place I’d never been before. And then he took his hands away and moved away from me on the seat.

My eyes opened wide and I looked across the seat and saw that he had his cock out and I felt an urge I had never in my life felt before. And it was new and strange and his voice was soft and warm and I didn’t care how new or strange it was – I wanted to touch and feel that beautiful cock and and and I wanted, I wanted – I didn’t know what else I wanted but I knew I wanted something more.

And he spoke softly to me and asked me if wanted to touch him and I begged him to let me. And he leaned against the door and I laid face down on the seat and stared at that beautiful cock and took it in my hand. And it felt hard and warm and good and I looked closer and stroked it and then I had it in my mouth and I didn’t care because I wanted to suck it and I did. And he spoke softly to me and told me that I was a good boy and that I was making him feel good and I wanted to do that very badly. I know now that I wasn’t very good but he kept talking to me and telling me what to do and I wanted to do what he wanted because he was so nice. And he reached down and fondled my ass and I was on fire and humping the seat and sucking his cock and in heaven.

I don’t know how much time had passed but he gently lifted my head away from his cock and told me in his nice soft voice to jerk him off. I couldn’t remember ever wanting to do anything more than I wanted to do that. And he told me what he liked and how to do it and his voice was soft and warm and nice and I wanted desperately to do exactly what he wanted. And he told me that he would tell me when he was going to cum and that he would ask me to do something when he did. And I wanted to do whatever he wanted me to do so very badly and I said I would.

I stroked him and fondled his balls like he told me to do and I loved doing it and he spoke to me in his nice voice and he was really turned on and his cock was so hard and beautiful. And then he told me that he was going to cum and that he wanted me to lean over and put my face right over his cock when he came. And I did and he shot his beautiful hot load in my face. And it was warm and some dripped down on my lips and I tasted it. And it was new and strange and it was ok because it was his cum and he was so nice.

And he told me to sit back and look at him and I did. He said I was a good boy because I made him cum and that he wanted me to wear his cum to show that I liked him. And I wanted to do whatever he wanted me to because he was so nice and I was so very hot for him. And he told me to lean against the door and stroke myself and I did because he told me to. And then he reached across the seat and pulled me to him and he told me to put my head in his lap. And his cock was not as hard but was still big and it was against my cheek and I was laying on my back. And his hand moved down my chest and abdomen to my cock and he started stroking me and I could feel his cock get hard again against my cheek. And I could smell and taste the cum and he stroked me. And I turned my head and licked his cock and he stroked me. And I took his cock in my mouth again and he stroked me. And it tasted strange and a little salty but it was his and he was so nice to me and I wanted his cock in my mouth.

And I rolled over and he played with my ass and I was sucking on his cock because I wanted very desperately to suck it and please him and omigod I was totally fucking lost in him. And I was humping the seat and he finger fucked me and I was going up and down on his cock because he told me to. And he was big and hard and tasted of cum and I knew that because I now knew what cum tasted like and I wanted more. And he spoke softly to me and told me I was his good boy and he kept finger fucking me and it felt strange but amazing. And I was sucking his cock like a good boy and he kept speaking softly to me and his hand was warm and his finger felt good and I could feel his cock get very hard in my mouth. And he told me suck his cock head like a lollypop and lick it underneath and I did because he was so nice and wanted him to like me. And because I loved sucking and tasting his cock. And his body stiffened and he placed his hand gently on the back of my head and he exploded in my mouth. And it was new and strange and hot and salty and I liked it. And he said to me don’t spit it out and don’t swallow it. Hold it in your mouth and look in my eyes. And I wanted to please him and so I did exactly as he told me.

And he handed me a towel, took my face in his hands, looked deeply in my eyes and said to me in exactly these words: “You are a good boy and now you have a choice. If you spit my cum into the towel you will be just a cocksucker. But if you swallow my cum you will be my good boy and you will belong to me.” I looked into his eyes and swallowed.

He had me lay back down with my head in his lap and he reached down and fondled my balls and stroked my cock. And as he stroked me he spoke softly to me and told me that now I belonged to him and I felt so good because I wanted nothing more than to be his good boy and do whatever he wanted me to. And he was stroking my cock and I told him that I wanted to belong to him forever and he smiled down at me and stroked me and spoke softly to me in his nice warm soft voice and I knew that I was going to cum and I begged him to let me. And he said to me that only good boys are allowed to cum if their Daddies let them. And I begged him to be my Daddy and let me cum. And he asked me if I was going to always be his good boy and I said yes oh yes and he said I am your Daddy and he stroked me and I exploded. And I squirted all over my chest and shoulder and he told me I was a very good boy. And he swiped some of my cum with his finger and put it in my mouth and said to me that now that I have his cum and my own cum inside of me that we are connected forever in a very special way.

He let me lay there for a few minutes because I was trembling. He then lifted my head up, kissed me and told me that everything was alright and that I was a really good boy. He had me take the towel and wipe myself off and get dressed. I was feeling odd and very unsure of myself and not really certain about what had just happened except that he was really nice and I really liked him. (Edit: It is this point that is the toughest for me to talk about. I was trembling, felt the most conflicted, emotions were all over the place - I was very close to tearing up, was totally lost about what was going on inside of me. He kept telling me softly that everything was alright and although I liked him I was so confused about things.)

As he drove toward my neighborhood he told me that we would see each other again and that he would always be able to find me. A mile from my home he pulled to the side of the street away from streetlights, pulled me to close to him and kissed me deeply and then whispered in my ear that I was his good boy. I was really conflicted then because I really liked him but didn't feel great about what had happened. He pulled away from the curb, drove to the foot of my street and let me out. I was to never see him again.

That night I could not sleep. I felt ashamed of myself, was very confused about my own sexuality and about what had happened in that car in that parking lot. I liked him but was afraid of what seeing him again might mean. I avoided my friends for days, had no appetite for food and spent most of my waking hours in my room. I eventually dealt with it by stuffing my shame and self-loathing and telling myself that it never happened. But it did.

Many years later in therapy I came to grips with my feelings. Although my therapist told me that conflicted feelings were natural and that he was the one who had done wrong, I accepted within myself that I really liked what he did to me that night.

When I first attempted to share this experience in my original blog post I simply couldn’t so I posted what I did. After reflecting upon it, I’ve chosen to share with all of you what really happened that night. I’m sorry for not having done so in the first place. And I ask you to please not think badly of me.

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